Bride Wealth
Bride wealth is a taken of appreciation or gifts given to parents of the girl in order to allow her go and stay with the man for life. Each society had its own way of assessment according to amount wealth in that society e.g. in Toro they used goats while Ankole and Teso heads of cattle and in Karamoja 120 heads of cattle for a virgin and only 8 for a non virgin.
It was a token of appreciation to the parents of the girl for accepting to give away their daughter.
It was also a symbol of appreciation for the parental upbringing.
The helped to control morality e.g. if the girl was a virgin the mother is given a cow while among the Bagisu if one was not a virgin part of the dowry is returned.
It is one way of compensating the family of the girl i.e. her absence in the home is replaced by animals.
It was one way of sealing marriage relationship and gives legal relationship between in-laws and marriage is respected (Dowry acts as a certificate).
Dowry is used by the girls' brothers to achieve wives too in case the family is too poor.
It helps to maintain faithfulness of the women knowing she is a property of the man.
It helped boys to behave well towards parents because they depended on parents for dowry.
It was one way of controlling divorce because it was a condition that dowry had to be paid in case of separation.
it also consolidated the authority of relatives in the extended family since they contributed dowry to marry a woman for their son. Even on the woman's side those who shared from the dowry had to discipline the daughter.
It also gave authority to the man in disciplining the wife and therefore called for submission.
It was one way of showing capability to take care of the girl.
Payment of dowry gave the man legal ownership the children.
It also increases on the prestige of the boy's family because they are able to pay dowry such that any member from his side who visited in -laws was respected.
In church marriage before wedding takes place the parents of the girl must give consent which includes marriage arrangements like dowry. That is why barns of marriage are announced thrice.
It also acts as 'entandiikwa' for poor families.
It helped the couple to get blessings from all who took a share in the dowry.
It helps the boy to work hard e.g. in Karamoja the boy cattle rustlers.
It was a [public declaration that the boy loves the girl.
The couple also got blessings from ancestors e.g. in Busoga one goat was to ancestors / spirits.
To what extent can Christians justify bridal wealth in marriage.
To a large extent; since there are many instances of payment of dowry in the bible.
Isaac paid jewels of silver, gold, clothes for Rebecca Gen 24:53.
Jacob worked for another seven years to get Rachael.
Moses worked as a shepherd to get h is wife Zipporah (Ex. 2: 16 -22).
The law required the man to pay dowry (Deut 22:29).
Love involves giving.
Virgin girls attracted dowry.
Hosea paid dowry for Gommer to bring her back. ix. It is a taken of appreciation to the parents.
Ensures respect of the man by the girl.
One needs to recognise culture for recognition.
Bridge wealth unites families, provides covenant between them.
However, to a lesser extent bride wealth is not justifiable;
God gave Adam and Eve for free.
Children are gifts from God and should not be sold out.
God created both male and female in his own image so nobody should buy the other.
One may be force to elope which is sin before God.
The bible is not clear whether Joseph paid dowry for many the mother of Jesus.
One may commit suicide because of being denied his/her choice in absence of dowry.
Due to no dowry some end up in fornication and therefore un wanted children can be produced.
Despite the fact that bride wealth is of significance many say it should be abolished because of the problems that arise as below:-
It makes parents see their daughters as assets (economic) to demand too much and thereby reducing the girl to mere property.
It denies one chance to marry a man/ woman of ones choice.
Sometimes this denial brings frustrations and some decide not to marry or even commit suicide.
When the girl/boy realise it is hard to marry in the absence of dowry they end up fornicating and later produce unwanted children who lack parental love.
Sometimes those who have failed to get dowry they go to urban centres to look for jobs causing overpopulation, unemployment and criminal offences.
As they flock the town villages one left to few people and this leads to down fall in agriculture.
The delay for boys to get dowry exposes big girls to float, grow old and unattractive or exposed to sexual temptations like prostitution, fornication and sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS.
As boy continue looking for dowry it causes an influx of un married women and has aggravated the case of already unbalanced sex ratio and in order for excess women to survive they become additional wives, concubines or prostitutes.
Some end up using wrong ways of getting dowry.
In the process some are imprisoned or die before marrying.
In nomadic tribes like Karamojong, Turkana, Pokot, Masai, it has encouraged cattle rustling e.g. the pokot raided Sebei and killed 30 people and burnt their property in April 2003.
The more the dowry the more the woman becomes property of the man / society and this undermines the principle of equality among Christians.
If the boys struggle to pay he becomes impoverished and may lack the means of survival in his family.
Too much dowry causes a problem of paying back in case of divorce.
Unfinished dowry can delay church marriage and so couples live an eloped type of marriage without proper commitment.
Some parents take their daughters to marry wealth people who can afford to pay exorbitant prices they want. They undermine the motive of marriage to make it worse such men may even be victims of AIDS or other vices.
It creates enmity between families during payment some misunderstandings may arise and can pay less quality animals or later bewitch them.
On the other hand people have suggested that bride wealth be retained but modified in the following ways:
Should depend on ones ability.
The aspect of love should be utter most therefore in case one is completely enable to pay one should be given chance to marry un conditionally.